Epic Movie does not have a story, it just has a bunch of random skits and pop culture references stitched together.

Part of the problem is that most of the movies and characters that Epic Movie attempts to poke fun at aren't worth mocking. A parody generally takes something that is meant to be taken seriously, and makes it funny by portraying it in a humorous and satirical light. Epic Movie spends way too much time mocking things that are already funny and/or not meant to be taken seriously; Nacho Libre, Borat, Punk'd, Flavor of Love, and Cribs get far too much attention. Even if the jokes aimed at these franchises were well-written it wouldn't change the fact that none of them are really worth making fun of.

Meanwhile, the things that are actually worth mocking - The Da Vinci Code, Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, and the X-Men trilogy - aren't really parodied so much as randomly referenced. The characters visit many of Narnia's character and locales, for instance, but they never actually make Narnia funny. The writers seem to think that if a character stands in a famous Narnia location and pisses in the snow (not joking, this happens) then their work is done. It isn't. It's not a parody unless you make Narnia funny.

What passes for a story is a recreation (not a parody, just a recreation) of the Narnia story which vaguely ties together all the random references and cameos that compose this movie.

Also, how could they not do Lord of the Rings? Seriously, Borat makes it into a spoof on epic movies but Lord of the Rings doesn't? Explain that to me.

The acting in Epic Movie is almost irrelevant. No one could make dialogue this bad sound funny. While the overall acting ranges from poor to average, the cast does do a fair job recreating Jack Sparrow's mannerisms, Willy Wonka's unintentional creepiness, and Samuel L Jackson's intense one-liner. Unfortunately, the skits don't give these three well-recreated characters anything funny to do.

The movie has a lengthy cast of other recreated characters - Borat, a bunch of minor character from the Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, Mystique, Wolverine, to name just a few - but none of them really parody anything. Harry Potter randomly shows up at one point, but doesn't really do anything that actually parodies the Harry Potter franchise. He just makes a lame joke about looking older than fourteen, and then starts teaching magic for no reason. Likewise, Wolverine and Mystique don't do anything to parody the X-Men franchise. They bully Peter in high school and have cameos at a party, but that's it. That's the main problem with the characters; none of them actually parody anything. They just do random stuff.

Consider Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein. The movie constantly takes various elements from classic horror movies and makes them look ridiculous, all the while showcasing an engaging narrative of its own. If Epic Movie wanted to parody Frankenstein, it would have the monster walk by, fart and/or spew some uninspired one-liner, and then leave. That's not the same! It's not enough to have characters from different movies show up at random, you have to actually poke fun at their respective franchises for it to be a parody.

And don't even get me started on what you have to do for it to be a good parody...

There are a few good skits here and there. I did chuckle at the Snakes on a Plane bit, some of Jack Sparrow's antics (his "death" scene is actually pretty funny), the White Witch's new nickname (though it's only funny the first few times), and one or two other things. Sadly, these occasionally amusing moments don't remotely justify the remainder of the movie. By the half-way point I was desperate for it to end.

It's not worth paying money to see once, and it's certainly not worth watching more than once.

The visuals are low-budget. At times this does add a desperately-needed pinch of charm to the film. Mostly, however, it just makes it impossible to imitate the magical effects that the movie rips off from Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter. This is probably why they picked so few epic movies to use in the film; they had no special effects budget with which to recreate magical effects, mythical creaturs, or vast stretches of enchanted landscapes.

It is certainly possible for low-budget affairs to be endearing (Monty Python's Holy Grail was fantastic, and its producers wouldn't even pay for real horses) but this movie's uninspired script, forgettable characters, and unimpressive music don't allow it transcend its dimestore status.

This really didn't do much for me either. The soundtrack seems just as random, uninspired, and thrown together as the movie itself.

"Lazy Pirate Day" is a little amusing if you can ignore the fact that it's blatantly ripped-off from SNL.